


Life Sucks and then you Die

by iorekbyrnison



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Avengers - Freeform, Crossover, Deathly Hallows, Gen, Harry Potter - Freeform, Iron Man - Freeform, Master of Death, thanos - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-27
Updated: 2013-07-27
Packaged: 2017-12-21 13:04:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/900640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iorekbyrnison/pseuds/iorekbyrnison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As it was, even if wizards were generally more accepting of the unexplainable, no wizard would accept a 600ish year old Harry Potter without the inclusion of the Philosopher's stone, so he faded into the background, concealing his appearance. Until the day a robot crashed through the ceiling of Potter manor. The magically enforced stone ceiling. Ouch. AU fic, Beware of wormholes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When Heroes Fall

The world has seen many things. Eternal. Ephemeral. And humans, so young upon its soil, know little beyond their tiny lives, their short dreams, and progression of civilization. When buildings grow and crumble, when technology saves and destroys, when gods emerge and fall swiftly from the sky, the world watches and waits, ever changing, ever knowing.

And death, Harry Potter finds, has witnessed the complete history.

* * *

When Tony Stark flew the nuke into the wormhole above New York City, he knew he did not have long to live. For all that the Capsicle complained about sacrifice plays, Tony never thought he'd be the one to participate in one, but, well, he'd never been good at the emotional stuff, and his honor system was so fucked up _HE_ didn't even understand it most of the time. Forcing a nuclear bomb through a one way pass wormhole to his death to save a city of rude, belligerent, coffee addicted people that he could secretly appreciated was strangely _right_ up his alley.

Later, after everything was over and the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist Tony Stark was decidedly _not dead_ he would remember his "last thoughts" as his iron man suit shorted out and the Chitauri fucking mother ship exploded like the fourth of July. Nobody would ever know them save one man, if he was even really a man and not some strange ephemeral being. Tony would tell everyone he was thinking of swharma, of saving the world, of proving Capsicle wrong, of Pepper Potts, of his father. None of that was the truth. As death flittered before his eyes, Tony Stark looked back at his life, no matter how depressingly asinine it was, and was not impressed with what he'd accomplished.

Nobody would know that his last thoughts were regrets.

Just as he did not know at the time that his thoughts weren't really his last after all. When Tony Stark lost consciousness that day he assumed the bright white light that surrounded him was part of the explosion.

Tony Stark might be a genius, but clearly he did not know everything.

* * *

When Harry Potter was a teenager fresh out of war with the dark wizard Voldemort, there was a muggle saying: "Life sucks and then you die".

Yeah as it turns out, not so much, at least, not when Harry was the Master of Death. Well, the "life sucking" part was true for a very long while and then Harry got over it, but the dying part was a whole other matter. When Harry turned twenty-seven he looked in the mirror and discovered he hadn't aged a bit. Where his friends' faces sported the beginnings of laugh lines and the air of "adult" Harry never grew from his short stature. When his wife began to complain of aching joints, Harry stayed spry. He filled out, certainly, but all the age that people saw in the Boy-Who-Lived came from luminescent green eyes nestled beneath that once cursed lightning bolt scar.

It was odd, certainly, even against the increasingly odd standards the Wizarding world had for him, but Harry eventually accepted his immortality and so did his family and friends. Mostly, Hermione and Ron looked upon his youthful body with fond exasperation. "Only you Harry," Hermione said, picking up little Rosie before she could snitch Ron's wand from the tall red head's back pocket. Ginny, of course, was another matter as well. His friends only had to live with the _idea_ of an immortal Harry, Ginny had to struggle with the idea that he would out live her, their children, and their children's children. She feared for his sanity, because she knew him. Deep down Harry could never accept his family dying whilst he lived forever. She feared that he would withdraw for his own protection if he couldn't live with her death and countless others. And as she grew older, withered and shrunk before his eyes, Ginny also felt a certain amount of hostility towards his eternal youth, because, after all, part of the dream was growing old _with_ Harry, not accepting another strange facet of the responsibilities of the Boy-who-lived and dying knowing that he would never join her in the afterlife, the next great adventure.

It was the one thing she never told him, even as he held her hand on her death bed. Because, on some level she hated her husband for screwing up her dream even without meaning to, but she loved him even more, so deep and so encompassing, Ginny herself didn't even know the extent of it. She had lived a long life anyway, even for a witch. Only Luna and Hermione survived her from the original gang. Ginny did not think Luna would ever stop kicking, but surely Hermione would leave the world not too long after. Harry had weathered many losses by then and there were scores of children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren to watch over him, to shield his eternal life from the hostile attitudes of the Wizarding public, because some things lasted longer than others and opinions lingered on like a disease. Maybe he'd be okay, she thought as she smiled at him for the last time. And Harry, her dear Harry smiled back with his boyish face that she so loved and hated, and carded his fingers through her soft silver hair whispering comforts to her as she passed. After all, even if Harry Potter couldn't die, it was he who understood most of all what death was.

"Be well," Harry murmured to his wife of countless decades as her last breath passed through parted lips and death took her away.

For a brief period of time after his wife's death Harry Potter's life returned to the "sucking" phase. He had loved his wife. He still loved her despite how she aged and changed while he stayed the same. But frequent visits from his children and grandchildren bolstered him and he'd become a bit of a researcher in his later years, when his magic grew and some of the eccentricities that followed his old mentor Dumbledore began to emerge within himself. His studies kept him going until he couldn't go anymore and then Luna Lovegood would appear at his front door as if she had some sort of sixth sense for his suffering.

When Hermione finally passed away Harry and Luna moved into Potter manor together, because it was then that the loneliness became too much for the both of them and their age was finally starting to raise eyebrows. Luna walked around the house as if she were as immortal as her long-time friend, as if she herself had found some sort of fountain of youth that allowed her body to age, but kept her spirit as young and whimsical as ever. Harry was forced to place glamours upon himself if he went out, so he chose not to, taking up residence in the higher floors of the manor studying the nature of magic or anything else that gained his interest.

When Luna died, she wasn't taken by old age, though the woman was almost two hundred by that point. She died in an explosion, much like her mother, studying one of her many undiscovered animals and a slightly illegal magical artifact that may or may not have been stolen from the deepest vaults of the Department of Mysteries, guarded by a two headed dragon and countless spell traps crafted by Unspeakables. Harry mourned for all of five minutes, staring at her mangled body and the magical residue of whatever exploded animal remained splattered against the wall, before Luna's ghost materialized beside him and chastised him for the nargles sneaking around his ears.

And as it accustomed to doing, time passed, 665 years, to be precise. Harry Potter had seen many things, been many places, and met many people. Not much surprised him anymore and though he'd withdrawn from close contact in the world, he and Luna still welcomed the occasional descendant of the Potter or Weasley lines into the manor. Rumors flew about the Wizarding World. Harry's death and funeral was never announced to the public. None of Harry Potter's descendants claimed the bulk of the Potter fortune. No Potter ever revealed the new head of the Potter family, so there was much speculation against common sense that he was still living amongst them, an eternal wizard, the Boy-who-lived forever. But his existence was the greatest kept secret in the Wizarding World.

Nobody actually believed he was still alive, not anymore at least, or, not since he hit the age 300. The tale of Harry Potter, the wizard who was born to "cheat death" was a legend, a story told to young children before bed just as Mrs. Weasley read the tale of the three brothers to her young brood many years ago. It was pretty ironic in Harry's opinion that his family had been cheating death centuries before he was born and he'd very literally happened upon the tools the granted him immortality without any desire for them.

As it was, even if wizards were generally more accepting of the unexplainable, no wizard would accept a 600ish year old Harry Potter without the inclusion of the Philosopher's stone, the recipe of which Nicholas Flamel and Albus Dumbledore took to their graves. And so Harry faded into the background, concealing his appearance, covertly running family business from Potter manor through one grandchild and then another as each member of the Potter family became aware of the "Potter secret". Life went on, ebbing and flowing like a river in which Harry stood apart. Honestly, in Harry's opinion, it _could_ be a bit boring sometimes.

Until that day.

After that day, Harry Potter's life changed drastically. It was the day a robot crashed through the ceiling of Potter manor. The _stone_ ceiling. The _magically enforced_ stone ceiling.

_Ouch_.

* * *

When the wards of Potter manor were breached Harry Potter was notified instantaneously, but seeing as how Harry Potter stood in the room that a robot just crashed into, he safely concluded that he'd found the cause of the disruption. And a robot it was, but years of developing his magic plus the soft humming from Luna somewhere in the walls alerted him to the fact the metal man imbedded into the stone of his sixth library of the east wing was flesh and blood underneath the rather attractive pro-Gryffindor paint job.

Plus, death was standing in the corner and death just didn't _do_ corners unless he had a reason.

"So, are you going to explain the situation, or do I have to figure it out myself?" Harry said while carefully attempting to pry some part of the metal from the body resting within it. Death said nothing, which wasn't unusual. If there was anything Harry had learned in his long life was that death enjoyed being silent or deliberately vague. Entities were odd like that.

There was an ominous crunch that resounded in the room when Harry finally managed to pull the suit from the floor and get it to a clear space, well, drag it to a clearer space. Crouching down beside the figure Harry rubbed his chin in thought. "How interesting," he said before running his fingertips against the metal until they reached the flickering blue light in the center of the man's chest. Harry knocked on it a couple times, but whatever the device was, it declined to respond.

"He was hovering between spaces," Death's voice echoed throughout the room. If Harry hadn't become so accustomed to it, he would have jumped. As it was Harry merely turned his head toward where death stood, his hand still hovering over the curious flickering machine.

"Between life and death?" Harry murmured, but Death gave no indication he'd heard the question.

"He is outside of my duties at this moment." ' _Ah'_ Harry thought, Death was here because he needed direction from his master.

"Couldn't you have avoided smashing him through my ceiling? Thousand year old, magically enforced stone is hard to re-enchant you know." Harry went back to inspecting the suit. "The device in his chest would be giving you problems I bet, always cycling between almost dead and springing alive. Does this one frustrate you often then?"

"Hm," Death's grunt spoke volumes.

"And there's a strange vibe coming from it too, hm. Stabilization, but not palladium inside. A whole new element that I've never felt before? And it feels vaguely magical. Maybe chaos magic, no, huh . . .Norse in origin? _What?_ Man, am I glad I did that stint in muggle physics when Luna pestered me to a hundred years ago, not to mention all that extra studying in History of Magic that Hermione said would useful someday. Funny how I never believed her on that one, and she turns out to be bloody right as always even from the grave. No wonder Ron never won a single argument." Harry laid his hand upon the flickering blue device, tapping it a bit with his index finger. "And I'm guessing you want my permission to take this one to the afterlife huh Death?"

Harry received no answer. He never really expected one.

"Well, I'm afraid that's too bad. I sense this one has more to do yet. Let's hope I don't short him out huh." Harry let loose a pulse of magic into the device and for a moment nothing happened. With a sigh Harry sat up, but before he could stand the flickering stopped and the device started to glow a brighter, continuous blue. A groan, a human groan, echoed through the suit and suddenly piece after piece started to break away from the human underneath. Inside was a black haired male, but that was all Harry could really tell underneath the cuts and bruises. Now that the armor was gone, he could see that the device was actually implanted in the man's chest, rather that regulating his life whilst attached to the top.

The man's eyes were open as the strange metal mask fell from his face and they traveled around the room spotting Harry and then the much scarier visage of death lurking in the corner of the room.

"I'm dead aren't I? Why does Hell look like a library?" Harry couldn't help but snort.

"Oh, no sir, you aren't dead. You came awfully close though. Don't mind tall dark and broody over there. He's a little disappointed about it. Did you know you've become a personal annoyance of death itself?" The man grunted and Harry helped him sit up slightly, mindful of the injuries the man had.

"That's . . . not reassuring," he said with a small groan. Focusing a bit more the man put a hand to his forehead and turned towards Harry with a curious expression. "Who are you anyway?"

Harry grinned a bit vacantly, reminiscent of Luna, and twitched his hand towards the corner of the room. Death faded away, but the feeling of his frustration lingered in the room for moments more. "My name is Harry Potter, Mr.?" Harry gestured towards the man.

"Stark. My name is Tony Stark" Tony said a bit surprised. Usually everyone he met literally fell over themselves to greet him. It was unusual when someone not only, refrained from doing that, but also showed absolutely no recognition at all when looking at him. Not that anything about this situation _wasn't_ strange.

"Well, Mr. Stark, are you aware that you just demolished the ceiling of my library?" Harry's tone was light as he gestured towards the gaping hole above them. Tony winced a bit at the damage, but really, it was par the course for his latest super hero job description.

"Ah, well, I can pay for that." Harry merely 'hmmed' and stood, reaching his hand out for Tony to grab before helping the injured man up as well.

"No need. No need. But, can you please tell me why you have a bastardized version of an old mythological Norse battery on your chest?" Tony stopped taking stock of his injuries and the demolished form of his iron man suit to turn around and stare.

"Norse battery? What? This is an arc reactor. You know, the leading source of clean energy in the world? It's kind of a really big deal." Tony was gesturing his arms frantically. "Seriously? Who are you? Have you been living under a rock for the last few years?"

Harry merely smiled at him in amusement before walking towards the pit he'd dragged Tony's body from. "Are those seriously questions to be asking when you've done this to my poor floor? To answer your question, yes, I have in fact been living under rock for the last few years, 1000 year old magically enforced stone that you put a hole in quite recently, to be precise. And apparently nobody cares about how bloody difficult that will be to fix. As for who you are or what that suit is, I admit I am quite confused. I apologize if the structure on your chest is not a Norse battery, but don't be disgruntled. It is a fair bit of magic you've done, though how you've combined it with technology is fascinating at the very least." Harry snapped his fingers in the air and Tony sputtered as the stone and ceiling began to slowly nit itself together. A moment later two small creatures popped into existence and began to clear away the dust and reorganize the books that had fallen in the crash. Harry paused a moment by what looked to be the remains of a large, once ornate, wooden desk. It had been cracked and splintered directly through the center and papers spilled forth from broken drawers. With another snap the desk was also repaired.

Tony watched it all with growing awe and not a small amount of trepidation. "You're actually death aren't you? Death is yanking my chain because I pissed you off aren't you? Why the hell is death British anyway?" Harry froze and turned sharply in Tony's direction with an annoyed expression.

"I beg your pardon sir! I am most certainly _not_ Death. Both he and I find it offensive that you would say so. My name is Harry James Potter and my occupation is Master of Death thank you very much, definitely not ferrying poor helpless souls like you to the afterlife! You should watch your tongue Mr. Stark, before I change my mind and allow Death his petty revenge." Harry huffed slightly and crossed his arms watching the house elves as they set his library to rights before turning back to his impromptu visitor. "I had pegged you for a wizard, but I guess I was mistaken. Muggles always were a bit foolhardy with their technology. I thought I'd seen it all when they made the walking toaster, but obviously, I've been away from civilization a bit longer than I thought."

Tony gazed at the man in confusion. "Huh. Well, it's not like magic is the strangest thing I've seen all week. I thought I was done for when I went through the wormhole" Harry perked up and leaned quickly towards his visitor at the word "but it seems as if I made it back and landed in one piece. Sorry about the ceiling, but you seem to be handling it just fine. If you could tell me where I am, I'll be on my way and I'll try to refrain from destroying anymore of your house in the future." Tony finished.

"Oh. Well, Mr. Stark. I don't think that will be possible. You are quite far from home at the moment." Tony looked at the wizard in trepidation. After all, there were fates worse than Death. Maybe this would turn out to be one of them, but the man just returned to the previous vacant smile (that sort of creeped Tony out too) and stepped closer.

"What do you mean? Where am I?" Harry smiled wider, vaguely like a cat who'd caught a mouse, or a scientist that just had a flash of inspiration. That smile, in Tony's newly minted opinion, was diabolical.

"It's fortunate that I don't have to obliviate you. If you were a muggle in the conventional sense that's certainly what would happen, but Death brought me something interesting this time. I'll have to do something nice for him soon." Harry took a step further just as Tony took a couple steps back.

"Um Harry?"

"Relax, Mr. Stark." Tony stepped back and stumbled into an awfully conveniently placed chair that he was certain had not been there moments before. "Tell me about this wormhole? Were there any unusual factors about the hole itself? Did it have a strange constitution? Did it glow blue or green, maybe a bit of an aqua or a perrywinkle? Did it have a direct connection to something or maybe, was it created from something similar to the Norse battery upon your chest?" Tony leaned back even as Harry leaned forward with his slim fingers clutching the armrests of the chair Tony was seated in.

"Um, Yes?" Tony mumbled a bit despondently, entirely uncomfortable with the situation he found himself in, without his suit, no connection to Jarvis, and a bizarre man leaning over him like a predator toying with its prey. Harry's smile had a dreamy quality to it making his eyes glow a luminescent green set off by his untidy black hair.

"Tell me Mr. Stark. What do you know about alternate dimensions?"


	2. Beware of Wormholes

Tony stark had seen a lot of weird shit in his life. Part of the reason was that he'd spent a large portion of his life under heavy influence of sex, drugs, and alcohol, but a good majority of things that earned a place on Tony's patented "Weird-shit-o-meter" were seen as he masqueraded around the United States in a large iron suit fondly named the Iron Man. So, for Tony it really was a novel experience to not only be without his suit, but completely, absolutely, utterly, achingly sober when his new acquaintance's best friend attempted to give him a crash course on the current happenings of the Wizarding World.

Oh yes, it sounded like a normal scenario in theory; right out of a book in fact, but there were four very distinct reasons why the encounter was scoring a dinging ten out of ten on his poor meter.

 _One_ : Harry Potter's best friend was dead, i.e. a ghost.

 _Two_ : As a ghost, Luna Lovegood's version of "current events" were about as current as dinosaurs roaming the through the Triassic period.

 _Three_ : Luna was giving her lesson upside down from the ceiling, sitting in a lotus position and daintily sipping tip from some ghostly fine china as if nothing was amiss.

 _Four_ : And Tony was absolutely sure on this one, Luna Lovegood was one fry short of a Happy Meal.

It was a bit distracting to say the least.

"And so Merlin, with the help of the pure Crumpled Horned Snorkack defeated Morgana, sealing her body away, but her spirit lingered and her anger at her imprisonment grew with no boundaries until the creatures known as the Nargles were born from her wrath. Then the Nargles attacked intent upon befuddling wizard kind and thieving precious items, so that one day Morgan might be freed from the seal to enact her revenge." Luna took a small sip of tea with a dreamy smile. What looked like radishes dangled upside down form her ears, mingling with long shiny hair of which the slightest hint of color seeped through her transparent from, betraying silky blonde as it swayed in a non-existent wind.

"So you see, Mr. Stark, the history of the Crumple Horned Snorkack is a long and prestigious one, much longer than their arch nemesis the Nargles. Of course, in the long term, Crumple Horned Snorkacks fell into favor of hunters, because their hides made better material than Demiguise fur for invisibility cloaks. Their numbers decreased fairly rapidly sometime in the early 4th century so the valiant creatures, with the aid of friend Merlin cast themselves away into hiding so they might live in peace. It is rumored that there are only small communities of them across the world, the largest residing somewhere in the country-side of Sweden. I myself searched for them for over one hundred years, before my death. I was never successful, but I've always held hope that I might one day see one with my own eyes." Luna smiled and made a vague gesture towards Tony which he didn't understand.

"On a much brighter note, however, the Nargle population has drastically reduced in the most recent years since Harry defeated the Dark Lord Voldemort. My father and I tried through our newspaper called "The Quibbler" when I was younger to warn the Wizarding people of the danger that Nargles posed, but we didn't get much reception. More importantly, there was a terrible infestation of Nargles within the ministry at the time when the second war with Voldemort began. Father and I always said that the war wouldn't have been so devastating had the ministry employees listened to our warnings and made radish earrings and butterbeer cork necklaces a mandated part of ministry uniform."

It was like staring at a train wreck, Tony thought as he gazed at the ghost sitting on the ceiling. "This entire world is crazy" he muttered under his breath as Luna continued to ramble about Crumple-horned snorkacks and how delicious Wizarding tea imported from Brazil was. Honestly Tony was ready to cut his losses and get the heck outta dodge if not for the simple fact that he didn't know where the hell he was. Harry's early answer of "somewhere near Wales" hadn't been all that helpful in the least and the castle he was in (how could it be anything less than a castle with how huge it was) had more hallways and secret passages than a Shield top facility research base only without the convenient computer system to hack into for the blueprints.

"Mr. Stark? Are you listening?" Luna's voice was as dreamy as ever as she gazed down at Tony, but the genius was spared answering her questions as Harry walked through the door of the kitchen. The black haired man stopped as he took in the situation, unsurprisingly, he seemed to take the ghost in stride and turned towards Tony with a smile on his face. In his hands was a leather covered book which looked like a journal of some sort.

"I see you've met Luna. Good, that saves me any of the awkward "Hey, she's a ghost!" introductions. Have you two been getting along?" But Harry didn't actually seem interested in the answer as he turned back towards the ghost. "Luna, dear, I was looking for you. I grabbed one of research journals from the North library, but I need the passwards to get into your lab. How do you keep changing them anyway? Don't you need physical limbs for that?" Luna merely hmmed and sunk into the ceiling, presumably to go unlock the 'lab' Harry had mentioned. Harry didn't seem in the least perturbed and merely sat down in front of Tony at the kitchen table. With a twitch of his finger he summoned a squealing teapot from the other side of the room that Tony hadn't even noticed before.

"So, Mr. Stark, I hope Luna didn't confuse you too much. Once us wizards hit two hundred we get a bit . . . eccentric." Harry smiled and poured two cups of steaming tea waving his finger so a cup of sugar cubes and a small plate of cookies appeared on the table as well. Tony took his tea and didn't comment of the show of magic. After spending an hour with a ghost telling him stories about Wizarding past, Tony was sure he couldn't be surprised any further.

"Is eccentric the Wizarding word for insane?" Tony quipped taking a sip of his tea and setting the cup back on it saucer.

Harry smiled again and brought the journal he'd been holding to sit in front of Tony. "Why, Mr. Stark, you are quite intelligent. How refreshing."

"Yes, well, back home they call me a genius."

"Come now, we both know genius and adaptable are two different things." Harry opened the journal, pushing his tea to the side to give them more room. "You are a man out of time Mr. Stark. If there's one thing I know without a doubt, it's the lifelines of men and you have an exceptionally long lifeline."

"That's not what you said earlier, when Death was standing in the corner," Tony leveled his gaze on the journal taking in its appearance. The leather was old, very old, but well preserved and the paper inside was a thick parchment type. Even the writing style inside was old fashioned, certainly not printed with a ball point pen, but in deep black ink with flourishes that he'd seen in eighteenth manuscripts back in his college days. But what was most shocking about the journal wasn't its obvious age, but that the words and images in it were beginning to move and shift as Harry waved his palm over the pages.

"Don't mind him. Death is grumpy at the best of times. He's just irritated with you for the amount of times you've apparently been at the brink of death without crossing over." Harry stopped moving his hand over the journal and began to move it upward drawing the words and diagrams into the air to float. It wasn't dissimilar to the projections form Tony's own computers , only instead of the blue iridescent glow that his technology had, the text floating before Tony was the direct copy of the journal on the table glowing a soft green and the letters somehow darkened for legibility. Tony, despite being confused about the process of magic, was suitably impressed. "Now," Harry paused with the words hanging in the air, "Tell me more about the Norse battery on your chest and that metal contraption you were wrapped in when you fell through my ceiling."

Tony stared at the man across from him, acutely aware how much he was at the mercy of the strange being that seemed to have some power over death, if the scene in the library and the ghosts hanging about drinking ghost tea was anything to go by. And Harry hadn't been anything but accommodating and friendly. He'd fixed the broken ribs, the bruises, and the black eyes with a flick of his hand even if Tony's suit seemed to be beyond his capabilities. Harry was strange, yes, but Tony had been following his gut for a long time and it hadn't been wrong yet. His gut was inclined to trust this wizard, as strange as that seemed to a man who had made his fortune of the newest and most efficient technologies. The decision, in the end, was an easy one without even considering that he was apparently stranded in a strange universe that may or may not have even given birth to an Anthony Stark at all.

"That metal contraption, or so you call it, is my Iron Man suit, even though it's made of Titanium Alloy and not iron. It's the most advanced weaponry suit currently in existence in my world. I created it after a stint in Afghanistan that left me with this," Tony patted the blue core upon his chest, "which is _NOT_ a Norse battery. It's an arc reactor. Myself and a group of other superheroes called the Avengers were fighting a mad God called Loki when some idiots from the government decided that a nuke would solve all of the problems if they unleashed it upon New York City. I managed to get the nuke through the wormhole that had opened in the sky, but all I remember is the explosion and then waking up with you prying my armor off of me." Tony placed his hands in his laps, hidden away by the table in an effort to conceal how they were shaking.

Harry 'hmmed' and leaned his head forward to rest it upon his palm. The words from the journal covered part of his face, but Tony could see how the man's green eyes seemed to glow, even through the magic itself. Those eyes, Tony intimately knew, had probably seen more than four of his lifetimes. Those eyes knew more than his genius could ever perceive just through experience. There were small slips in conversation that both Luna and Harry had betrayed that the two were most certainly older than they appeared, and not only older, but older by a significant amount. Luna acted like a teenager, albeit a dead, whimsical one and Harry's body looked to be the picture of youth, but there was an air of wisdom that surrounded their forms that Tony couldn't ever recall seeing on anyone he'd ever met.

"A suicide play Mr. Stark? How very noble of you. And you down play the situation. I can tell these things of you." Harry lips quirked upwards in a smile, the sharpness of age disappeared and the dreaminess came back. "The time in Afghanistan; when you said it, the words were tinged with death."

Tony looked at the man before him reluctantly nodding his head in agreement. Harry made a gesture towards the magic on the table. "What you see before you is the life's work of two very influential witches. My friends Luna Lovegood, who you've met, and Hermione Granger were very interested in the possibility of alternate dimensions. I confess, it wasn't a subject that interested me very much, but if you are going to get back to your dimension, we must utilize this information to create a wormhole much like the one that was created by Loki over New York City."

Tony shook his head, "But Loki used the tesseract and several of the foremost astrophysicists in the world to create that portal. How would we even begin to replicate that?" Harry's eyes focused on the floating words raising his hands and making one of the diagrams enlarge over the table. It looked very similar to a funnel or a tornado as it spun rapidly in place.

"There are things in this world much more ancient than old Norse artifacts, Mr. Stark and magic is one of them. You may look over the research if you wish, but I assure you, if you are to return, this is the only way. It seems to me that the major difference between the two dimensions on the surface level is the presence of magic. My dimension has it in abundance, but yours only has it in legend. However, the muggles of my dimension are far behind the muggles in your dimension in terms of technology. You did say it's only 2012 in your dimension right? Here it's much later, hundreds of years later, but our technology went in a completely different direction than arc reactors and iron suits."1

"All right," Tony nodded accepting the situation for what it was. Questioning magic would get him nowhere here and already he'd seen magic do things that no technology of his could do. "How does this portal work then?"

"Well, it's very technical stuff. Luna would be able to describe it much better, but for a neophyte such as yourself, it's very difficult to tell fact from fiction in Luna's world."

Tony scoffed, "I don't think I've ever been called a neophyte before."

Harry smirked, his green eyes flashing in amusement before turning back to the diagram. "Well, if the shoe fits Mr. Stark." Tony glared at him fiercely but directed his attention as well. Under Harry's the gaze the diagram of the tornado grew more focused and flowing handwriting started to list itself beside the picture.

Harry began with a firm voice, erasing any dreamy qualities from his voice, "The magic you've seen me perform so far might seem to stretch the laws of nature, and to some extent you might be right, but magic does have theories and laws just as any scientific practice does. For instance Gamp's first Law of Elemental Transfiguration states that magic cannot create food from nothing. Triasta's supplementary Theory of Transfigured structures states that every object that has been transfigured, or changed, must eventually return to its original state i.e., Transfiguration, while preservation charms can be used to slow the process down, is not permanent in the least. The theory that we will take advantage of is the Theory of Apparition."

"Apparation?" Tony said, seamlessly slipping into a lab mentality despite the kitchen surrounding him.

"It is a process of transportation used by witches and wizards. Teleportation, if you will. I will show you sometime later outside the wards of the manor, though the first few times can be quite uncomfortable."

"Really?" Tony's voice sounded excited. Teleportation had been his childhood dream, the only dream that he'd never seen fulfilled now that Captain America was roaming around New York in his dimension. "You've perfected a method of teleportation? Is it instant or is there lag between departure and arrival? Is it a method used by everyone or just witches and wizards? Is it a similar process to molecular separation and conglomeration or is it a complete transfer of the body as a whole to another place?" The questions fell from his lips in excited fervor and Harry only looked slightly amused at the man before him who had been exceptionally composed until that moment.

"I have a few books on the subject, mostly written by Hermione. She was a dear friend of mine. I will allow you to borrow them to read at your leisure. The basic concept of apparation, however, is not instantaneous. Luna, Hermione, and several Unspeakables in the Ministry of Magic calculated in their studies that there is approximately 1.256 seconds between departure and destination. The time never changed despite distance, though we've yet to figure out the specifics of why that happens. As far as we could tell, the process of apparation separates the body into particles of magic, or I suppose you would use the word molecules, and squeezes those particles through fissures in the time-space continuum which creates the sensation witches and wizard experience as squeezing themselves through a small tube. That is our best theory about the passage of time, but that study was what got Luna and Hermione interested in alternate dimensions."

"They thought that maybe there was a different method or direction of traveling through the time-space?" Harry nodded.

"Correct. You are so very adaptable Mr. Stark." Harry smirked to himself and sipped at his tea leading Tony to believe the compliment was a bit backhanded.

"Yes, the ladies tell me that all the time." Tony said with a smirk. Harry merely hmmed.

"Well, Hermione's studies focused more on alternate dimensions. She had a rather large obsession with Science fiction novels and movies. Luna thought it was all great fun to annoy Hermione whenever possible, so she joined the study focusing more on the pathways between dimensions. Together they applied the Theory of Apparition and came up with this." Harry gestured towards the diagram making Tony raise an eyebrow.

"And what exactly is that?"

"It's a portal. A portal between worlds in fact. It's highly theoretical and even the Unspeakables at the Ministry seemed to ignore the implications of such research, believing it to be impossible even by Wizarding standards, but Luna and Hermione studied the processes until the day they died. Like I said, it's their life work and I have lived long enough to know that it's often the pipe dreams that reveal the most truth in the end."

Tony glanced more closely at the diagram noting only now the top and the bottom of the tornado seemed to spin in opposite directions. In the middle there was a tiny gap that he was sure represented some form of non-space. For a moment Tony breathed a sigh of relief. Even if magic was beyond him and seemed unreal even now, the decidedly methodical way Harry and his friends had gone about studying it was familiar to him. He'd always strived on science. That probably wasn't going to change ever, but magic seemed to be an entirely new and fascinating field to immerse himself in. The scientist paused, gazing at the diagram and waved his hand over the image. Unlike when Harry performed the action, nothing happened. The tornado, or portal as he now knew it to be, kept spinning and the words beside it didn't fade or deepen. He felt a measure of disappointment, but let it go. He wasn't a wizard. He was sure that he didn't even want to be one, but the newness of the situation and Harry's own mastery of a field he himself knew nothing about spurred him to understand and participate so he would have some control. But, Tony knew, the only time he'd ever has less control was when he was strapped to a car battery in some cave in Afghanistan. In this dimension he was stranded with no suit, no JARVIS, and no team to aid him. "So," Tony began, "how exactly will the process of apparation work on a grand scale and get me home to my own dimension?"

"Ah, see that is the tricky part." Harry pointed to the tiny gap in the middle of the diagram. "Our problem lies here in the non-space area. In the normal process of apparation, the non-space does not exist. A witch or wizard can get from departure to destination without experiencing the gap. As you can see, the current in the top of the portal is not the same as the current in the bottom. This wouldn't be a problem in normal apparation because it is the same current throughout the entire process." Harry enlarged the diagram a bit more, flipping it sideways.

"So, essentially you have to change your momentum half way through, but that's almost impossible to do because you are in a base molecular state?" Tony inquired.

"Correct." Tony frowned.

"Then how is it that I survived the trip here?"

Harry sighed in frustration, but there was amusement in his eyes as he rested his head upon his hands. "Unfortunately for us at the moment, Death is tragically unsociable at the best of times. He's been very tight lipped on the subject." Harry paused for a moment thinking, "Well, tight lipped if he had, you know, actual lips. That's still debatable. Six hundred years and the guy hasn't once raised his hood. For all I know he has a pig snout under there."

"You're point being?"

Harry paused in his many rant and looked towards the genius across from him. "Well, the problem is that mortals can't pass through from one current to the other. I theorize that if Death did not pull you through himself, then the Norse battery on your chest might have offered you some protection."

Tony huffed, "I told you, it's not a battery! It's an arc reactor." Harry merely raised an eyebrow.

"Semantics Mr. Stark."

"Whatever. Obviously you think there is a way to get back to my dimension so why don't you explain that bit."

"You are a muggle Mr. Stark, a non-magical person. As such you would not be able to apparate if you tried. And in this particular situation, even a regular wizard would fail. You are very lucky that I have never been normal, not even when I was inside my mother's womb. You are also lucky that I have what is called by the late Hermione Granger-Weasley a chronic "saving people" disease."

Tony frowned, "Chronic saving people disease?"

Harry waved his hand through the projection floating above the table unconcerned that the image vanished in wisped of green smoke. "Yes, it's tragic really. Long childhood spent in a cupboard, psychopath who had some lingering issues because he was missing his nose, and an absolutely dreadful extended camping trip with two people who practically dripped angst and sexual tension; that's my past. Luckily, however, or unlucky I guess in the grand scheme of things, I am no longer mortal so I can help you through the gap."

"Um, how?"

"Side along apparation of course. I'm quite good. I haven't splinched anyone in nearly 200 years now."

"Woah Woah now!" Tony explained crossing his arms in an X motion, "Who ever said anything about you coming with? Can't you just, I don't know, _leave_ after you take me home?"

Harry gave the genius an unimpressed look. "You know, for a genius who has the smarts to create a Norse battery from scratch and that metal contraption you busted through my ceiling, you are exasperatingly rude you know. I haven't seen anyone with so little disregard for speaking since my school days and Ron had red hair and a severe inferiority complex as an excuse."

"It's NOT a NORSE BATTERY!"

"Yes, Yes, arc reactor, I know, whatever. Nevertheless, it remains that Death pulled you here, which, in Death's infinite quest to drive me insane means that he has something he wants me to see or deal with in your universe. Plus, I'm not sure I could come back afterward if I tried you know. Apparation is about the three D's: destination, determination, and deliberation. I'll be locking onto your lifeline and following it to the current of your universe and then switching direction mid jump, so getting there is a problem in itself."

"Let me guess, your particular strain of Chronic Saving People Syndrome is a self-sacrificial strain isn't it?" Harry just took a sip of his tea and stood from the table gesturing for Tony to follow him out of the kitchen. The halls of Potter Manor were immaculately decorated and no doubt cleaned by those strange creatures Tony now knew to be house elves. Walking through the halls, Tony couldn't help but wonder at the age of the place. It was obviously a family home-er-castle. If Harry had hinted at being well over six hundred years old, then the building must be positively medieval, which, he supposed showed up in parts of the architecture, but what should have been signifying arches or material was unfamiliar. Even though he didn't have magic in his veins, Tony could feel the hum of power that surrounded the place. Luna had told him that if he were to leave the manor, he might never find his way back again and Tony was fairly certain that part of her tale was fact even if he still wasn't too sold on Nargles.

"In my youth I was woefully sacrificial. I gave my life for the cause even when the cause wasn't asking for it. It caused a great deal of problems when I first married my wife as I recall. I settled down with age though. I only risk my life maybe once a year these days."

Tony took the answer in stride. "Sounds fair."

"More than fair, seeing as how you are my first living company in about ten years." Harry continued leading Tony through the halls into the Northern part of the manor where the décor got progressively more outlandish. Soon the walls shifted into a fluorescent orange color with blue stripes that only went half way down as if someone forgot what they were doing halfway through. The curtains clashed horribly and each door they passed seemed to have elaborate moving murals of what Harry informed Tony were historical events and magical creatures.

"What is this place?" Tony was almost flabbergasted with the change from the ancestral, traditionally decorated home into the psychedelic hodgepodge of magic and memories.

"This is Luna's part of the manor. It's quite refreshing isn't it?" Harry smiled as he trailed a hand across one of the doors as he passed. Tony saw that it was a very detailed painting of six young people standing in front of a large gothic castle. Harry stood in the middle, looking perhaps a little younger than he looked now, To his left was a tall red headed boy with countless freckles and a shorter red haired girl who seemed to be taking a peak every now and then at Harry with a dizzy smile. To Harry's right was a girl with slightly bushy brown hair. She stood clutching a stack of books looking exasperated at the red haired boy. Beside her were two other people. Luna was there, her hair indeed a long silky platinum blonde from which radish earrings poked out and a long stick Tony knew to be her wand was tucked above her ear. Her eyes were still dreamy, but she seemed to be attempting to grab the hand of the boy beside her, a tall stocky male with blondish-brown hair that smiled calmly out at Tony, with a certain impish determination. The entire group was wearing long black robes that were all trimmed in red and gold, except for Luna who was adorned with a deep royal blue and silver. But what Tony noticed most of all was the calm happiness that seemed to exude from the scene, an honest to God "good old days" image that Harry obviously remembered fondly if the small caress was anything to go by.

Finally, Harry and Tony stopped at a door that was painted a lurid hot pink which faded into an almost impossible taupe color. In the wood the words "Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure"2 were carved in loopy slanted handwriting.

"This is Luna's lab. Hopefully, she's opened the wards up so we can get in."

Tony frowned. "And if she hasn't?"

Harry smirked, "I assure you Mr. Stark, you don't want to know." The wizard quickly pulled his wand from his robes and tapped a complicated pattern into the door. For a moment, nothing happened, but the two breathed a sigh of relief when the door swung open.

Luna Lovegood's work shop was as crazy as the witch herself. It was a large room with windows so tall they reached from ceiling to floor, not a feature Tony thought would be in an 18th century manor. The floor was absolutely covered with rugs of all shapes, sizes, color, and textures from oriental inspired to 70s American shag making it look like a patchwork rainbow meant to be stepped on. Along the room there were several long tables, each had a different and more complex piece of lab equipment that Tony knew would take him quite a bit of his own considerable intelligence and familiarity with lab settings to learn to use. The walls were covered with large, solid bookcases filled to the brim with large books, some new, but most looked faded and ancient. The books had clearly begun to overwhelm the lab as multiple stacks of them were spaced haphazardly through the room. It was unlike anything Tony's lab had ever been, but at the same time the room gave off the same atmosphere that his lab did. This room was a place where things were created to better the future, a room where sometimes genius toed the line into mad-scientist and sleep deprivation that bordered on unhealthy. And in the middle of the room floating above a table was Luna Lovegood, the woman who had created this place.

Tony felt he could respect that and respect wasn't something Tony Stark gave out easily.

At the sound of the door Luna turned to the two men with the same dreamy smile on her face. Turning her attention to Harry she gestured towards the table she floated over. "I've taken the liberty of bookmarking the areas of my work journal that we'll need Harry. The requisite power shouldn't be any trouble for you, but you might want to speak with Death before you make the journey over the gap."

Harry nodded, "Will you be making the trip with us Luna dear?" Luna's smile grew.

"Of course. It's entirely possible, after all, that my father and I hadn't found any Crumpled Horned Snorcacks because they decided to hide themselves in another universe. I would like to prove that." Harry chuckled as he walked towards the journal and picked it up, stowing it and his wand back into the folds of his robe. He then turned to Tony with a grin.

"It will take me approximately two weeks to get my affairs in order before we can attempt the crossing. I do not know how much time will have passed on your side, but I assume it will be very little if we compare the two dimensions."

"Will it hurt? For you I mean?" Harry's eyes were confused for a moment before they sharpened.

"I'm sure the journey will be very excruciating."

Tony hesitated for a moment. He couldn't stay here in this dimension. He knew that. He had responsibilities to his own world, but he had no desire for Harry to hurt himself, but Harry saved him the pressure of thinking about the situation too deeply.

"I am no stranger to pain, Mr. Stark. It isn't a matter of if I am taking you back, but a matter of when at this point, besides, who's to say I don't want a little bit of adventure in my life again? Hundreds of years can be a little dull, let me tell you, so a little pain would be a small sacrifice."

"I hope you don't think you are fooling me when you say it will be excruciating and then only a little pain in the same breath." Harry smirked as Tony crossed his arms pulling on his best mulish expression.

"Nothing gets past your genius brain I see."

"You better believe it!"

Harry smiled, "Nevertheless, we will make the journey two weeks from now. I suggest trying to salvage that suit of yours and maybe exploring the manor a bit until then. I'm afraid I will be quite busy preparing and contacting my wayward irresponsible great grandchildren to take over the reins of the most ancient and noble house of Potter, not to mention, packing up the essentials of my library, and untrapping Luna's side of the manor before we are to depart, so I won't be seeing you much until then. I want you to make yourself at home. If you need anything just ask one of the house elves or Luna and they will assist you."

Tony nodded in capitulation, "I have only one condition then."

Harry's eyebrow rose, "And that is?"

"Well," Tony popped his lips in satisfaction, "if you are going to technically be dieing and or in excruciating pain for little ol' me then I insist you call me Tony. This 'Mr. Stark' business has to stop." Harry rolled his eyes, but internally he was amused.

"All right Tony. You may call me Harry then," The two men smiled at each other briefly while Luna hummed distractedly in the background, before making their way out of the room, silently agreeing that a little dinner might be in order.

- _Two weeks later-_

Tony Stark clutched the old rut sack tighter against his shoulder as he watched his companion draw runes on the floor of the library he'd crashed into two weeks previously. He had learned a lot in the past two weeks, most of which he had trouble believing, but he'd taken it in stride. Magic was no more farfetched that Norse Gods picking a brawl fight in New Mexico after all. In the corner Luna hovered double checking the formulas and keeping an eye on Harry to make sure he didn't make a mistake.

His suit had been salvageable, but only the metal. The entire electrical and computer network of the Iron Man Mark VIII had been fried. Initially he believed that to be a result of the crash, but Harry informed him that magic often interfered and short circuited items that ran on electricity. Under such extensive wards like those of Potter Manor, the circuit boards of Mark VIII never had a chance. Tony watched as Harry put the finishing touches on what he had previously called a 'runic diagram' before the wizard called Luna over for a final inspection.

"It all looks correct Harry. Your passage to Tony's dimension should be successful." Harry nodded and turned to Tony.

"Yeah," Tony said looking at the ghost that hovered over Harry's shoulder, "About that. What _exactly_ is the probability of success for this little journey?"

Luna smiled at him, eyes unfocused as usual, "Well, there's approximately a 30% chance that you might hit another dimension all together. A two percent chance that Harry's magical core will implode during transit, a further five percent says that your muggle body will be unable to withstand inter-dimensional apparation and thus will disintegrate. There's a seven percent chance that you will land in your own universe, but in a place that will cause immediate if not fatal injury like say, over the top of an active volcano or in front of one of those muggle motorized carriages. There's a twelve percent chance of some other variable occurring."

Tony sputtered indignantly, "Are you telling me that we only have a 44% chance of arriving in my dimension without any harm!?" Luna just hummed and floated to hover over Tony's shoulder instead.

"You should be careful Tony. You are gaining a serious case of Umgubular Slashkilters."

"Umg . . . what!?" Tony turned his attention away from Luna with an incredulous expression as Harry chuckled.

"Luna, you've forgotten to factor in the possibility of splinching myself or Tony." Luna nodded.

"Remind me again what splinching is?" Tony asked with a skeptical tone of voice.

"Well, it occurs in apparation when the person controlling the transportation accidentally, you know, leaves something behind." Tony frowned.

"I'm assuming that something is more serious than the contents of a person's pockets then."

"Heh," Harry rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish expression, "My best guy friend growing up spliced half of his left eyebrow off. Oh! And Susan Bones accidentally left her leg behind during the summer after our seventh year."

"Her . . . leg?" Tony's eyes widened in alarm. "What!? Harry, when were you going to mention that I might lose a limb?"

"I just did didn't I?" Harry smirked and took a step closer and drug Tony into the runic circle that marked the crater his body carved into the magically enchanted stone floor.

"Wait! Wait Harry! You can't jus . . ." but Tony's voice was drowned out as he disappeared.

It was a little known fact in the Wizarding World that the sound of apparation changes over time. When Harry was a young man he took pride in the fact that he could pull off near silent apparations. By the time he hit 400, Harry was affronted by the wizards who could not apparate without the sound of a car backfiring. As it was, on his last day in his home universe Harry James Potter, the proclaimed eternal wizard, the Master of Death, would have been downright furious when his inter-dimensional apparation let out a massive booming sound that shattered more than a dozen windows in the library and could be heard even through the wards of the manor.

But neither Harry nor Tony heard the boom. They appeared silently in Tony's home dimension minutes after Iron Man had flown through the portal carrying the nuke. And it seemed that Luna's statistics weren't so inaccurate after all because immediately after appearing Harry and Tony looked at their surroundings taking in the immediate problem with no small amount of freaking out. With no suit and no way to fly, Harry and Tony began to plummet to their deaths.

They'd appeared directly under the now closing portal, falling helplessly through the sky and beside skyscrapers.

Harry, who'd been in stranger situations just sighed and said, "Oh shit" before ruffling through his robes.

And Tony. Well, the great genius, playboy, billionaire philanthropist just screamed.

Screamed very loudly.

"HAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRYYYYYY! If I didn't know you'd survive it, I'd kill you!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I've calculated the date of Luna's death somewhere around the year 2180 assuming she did indeed die at the age of 200. That, to the best of my meager math abilities would make the year Harry's current universe somewhere around 2845 assuming, yet again that Luna died at the age of two hundred and 665 years had passed since that day. If anybody finds any mistakes with this math, then please, don't hesitate to tell me. There is a reason I am an English major after all.
> 
> 2\. A direct quote from Luna Lovegood from the books, but attributed to Rowena Ravenclaw and carved on the Ravenclaw Diadem as is revealed in HP and the Deathly Hallows.
> 
> And thus Chapter 2 is finite! I am seriously flattered by the response the first chapter of this fic got! It's really great to know you guys like where I'm going with this. I think I responded to everyone who reviewed. If you reviewed as a guest, I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you! And thank you as well to all of those who favorite/followed/ added this story to communities. Your continued support means a lot to me!
> 
> On a different note, I am contemplating doing some alternate scenes as oneshots. They will be minorly AU, but I think you guys might find them humorous. My ideas include 'How Luna Lovegood the ghost can change passwards and drink ghostly coffee' and "Harry meets Coulson" so far. Tell me if you are interested in something like that!
> 
> Stay tuned! In the next chapter Harry will be meeting a lot of people: Fury, The Avengers, and possibly a very intimate collision with the streets of New York City and/or gender bending death.
> 
> Until next time!


	3. Gender Bending and the Rules of the Universe

"Harry!"

"Harry!"

"Harry!" Even with the wind violently whipping around Harry Potter's body gave a large twitch. He would have sighed in frustration if he weren't so intent in finding his broom in the moleskin pouch that hung upon his neck. The accio he'd preformed earlier had only resulted in the fairly ominous sound of multiple items crashing in upon each other. He'd never been that great at packing anyway.

"Harry!"

"Oh my God Tony! Would you just fucking shut up for one second!? I'm trying to save our lives here!" the genius just clutched Harry tighter in his death grip.

"Our lives? You can't fucking die! Oh my god! That was the skyline! Did you just see the skyline? I never wanted to admire my tower like this! I want my fucking armor! And what do you mean our lives!? Newsflash! You can't die! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!"

Harry growled a bit as the genius' arm flailed, knocking his hand out of the bag just when he felt the smooth end of a broomstick fall from his grasp. "Well, shit." Harry mumbled.

"Why is your hand not in that bag? Oh my god! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! Splattered Tony Stark is not a good look for me okay! NOT. A. GOOD. LOOK!"

"Would you stop flailing about? You aren't making this any easier! And just because I can't die, doesn't mean it won't hurt! You try reforming your body after it's been flattened against a concrete and see if it's a walk in the park!" But Tony had given up all pretense of talking and had begun to scream bloody murder into Harry's ear. It was a flash of green in the corner of Harry's eye that made him turn his head and let out a curse. ' _Seriously? What the hell?'_ "Uhh, Tony? Hey Tony?"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT?" Tony screamed.

"You wouldn't happen to have trolls in your universe would you? Big green, angry trolls?" Tony's head snapped in the direction that Harry was looking.

"OOOOOOOHHH SSHHHHHHIIIIIIIII . . ." and then the 'big green angry troll' slammed into the duo at high speeds. Fortunately it slowed Tony's descent exponentially. Unfortunately it broke the two universe travelers apart and when Harry noticed he was about to have an up close and personal meeting with the ground he only had a few moments to say a few spells before darkness claimed him.

"Damnit, this is gonna . . ."

* * *

It was to the familiar sight of King's Cross Station that Harry woke up with a groan, rubbing his palm against his face to get rid of the disorienting feeling of his conscious being temporarily ripped away from his physical body.

"Why is it always this place?" but then Harry snorted and slowly managed to pull himself up into a sitting position, wincing as he remembered the final impact of his body against the pavement. Thanks to the super powered impervious spells he'd cast around himself, Harry doubted there would be any broken bones or exploded organs, but his return to life was going to definitely hurt. A lot.

A LOT.

"This place is a manifestation of how you view death Master." Harry's head flung up at Death's voice and he abruptly stopped all movement.

' _What. The. Actual. Fuck?'_

"Umm Death? I have a question for you." Harry couldn't stop his gaze from traveling south. "Ah, uh. Well. Have you always been female or are the breasts just some sort of new metaphysical experimentation that all the entities are doing these days that I should know about?" Harry knew even without being able to see Death's face that the look in his/her eyes was not impressed.

"In this realm beings construe my form as female. In your realm I was seen as male. I have countless other forms as well." Harry nodded slowly, deliberately keeping his gaze off of Death's new 'additions'.

"Riiight. Well, that's cool and all, but why did you bring me here? I'm not sure Tony is safe what with the giant green angry trolls flying through the air back there. I should really get back." Death shook her head briefly before gesturing towards the trains behind her.

"You have not had need of the in between place for ages Master. The reason for your travel here is that I have need of you." Harry raised an eyebrow, a trick he'd finally managed to accomplish after hundreds of years of attempting to imitate his sour old Potions professor.

"Yeah, I kind of figured that when you carried Tony across the dimensions. He provided the lifeline needed to direct my journey correct?" Death nodded. "The question is why? Tony is mortal. Your jurisdiction lies solely with those who have passed on. Fiddling with mortals is always a tenuous process at best when you have millions of years of tradition to follow, but you didn't in this instance."

Death very visibly hesitated. "It was your assistance that I required Master, your assistance in dealing with a being who threatens this universe." Harry grunted as he stood from his sitting position and went to stand in front of Death.

"Lower your hood." After a long pause Death nodded almost imperceptibly and raised a gloved hand to pull down the hood. Before Harry stood what appeared to be a young woman. Her hair was long, blonde and very straight, bunched up slightly into the back of the robe. Her skin held little color, pale and flawless as he would expect an entity's to be and her eyes were magnificent to behold. They were swirling masses of colors, without pupils, swiftly changing from blue, to aqua, red, orange, silver, and gold like a wildfire being perpetually over taken by the ocean. "Huh." Harry managed with a small smile, "Never pictured you for blonde." Death's facial expression did not change except for a slight tensing of the jaw.

"Sometimes Master, I truly hate you." But Harry just shrugged.

"Hey now. Cut me some slack. That's not fair. I'm probably the best boss you could ever have. Who else would just let you do whatever you wanted 99% of the time? Besides, aren't I here because you _needed_ me? At the moment I have no need of _you_. And not to mention; you're an entity. Can entities even feel hate?" Death shifted slightly before nodding slowly.

"Which is why I said sometimes." Harry smirked a little.

"So why am I here anyway. Not like _here_ here, but you know, alternate universe here." Harry motioned vaguely with his hand.

"There is a being who calls himself Thanos who threatens this world in my name. It has gotten a bit . . ." Death paused.

"Out of hand?" Harry ventured. Death nodded her lips pulled into a frown.

"Thanos calls himself my champion. He seeks to eradicate all life."

" _All life_?" Harry's voice was incredulous.

"He fancies himself the lover of death and feels that if all life were destroyed, I would hold him in high esteem." Harry held up a hand and made a shushing noise as he stared at Death a bit shocked.

"Wait! Wait! Are you telling me that you called me across the dimensional boundaries because you are having a _domestic dispute with an alien suitor_!?" Harry brought his hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Seriously, Death, it was better when you were male. You are like, the _worst_ employee of _all_ time."

Death made a small noise in the back of her throat, somewhat affronted by the statement, but realizing the partial validity at the same time. "I did not _ask_ for his attentions Master. He created them in his head without any input from me. But you know as well as I that I cannot interfere more than I already have. Thanos' motivations might seem ridiculous, but the power he wields is anything but. Master, the amount of souls that I have shepherded because of Thanos' actions is astronomical. He's destroyed entire worlds in the blink of an eye."

Harry frowned severely turning away from Death and placing a hand upon his chin, gazing absentmindedly at the train that always seemed to be waiting for him each time he visited. It was the only way he could ever truly move on. Harry instinctively knew that, but he also knew that he'd never take that ride. The vacuum of power that would open when the Master of Death disappeared would be catastrophic at best. Harry may not have ever wanted the powers he'd stumbled upon at the age of seventeen, but he'd long since grown accustomed to the responsibility that came with them. It had taken several hundred years and a close call immediately after Ginny's passing to come to terms with his immortality and the necessity of it.

"This Thanos, he is headed to Earth?" Death nodded.

"Thanos has destroyed much, but Earth, as we both know is important to the universe. If this dimension's Earth is destroyed, so too is the balance of power." Harry shook his head.

"You mean the superheroes Tony's been telling me about? Are they really that much of a threat in the grand scheme of things?"

"Much like magic was a threat in your universe, super humans are the threat in this one."

"Ah," Harry mumbled, thinking about the magic of his universe. He'd learned enough magical theory in his lifetime to know that the magic thrummed through everything in his home. To take away magic was to take away the very basis of life as nothing could survive without, even muggles or squibs who couldn't harness the small amounts of magic within them. He was a little lost on the fact that a group of superheroes, physical beings, could maintain that sort of presence in this world. It shouldn't have been possible, or if it was possible, the Earth he had arrived at certainly shouldn't have been stable enough to contain a New York city or a company like that one Tony had to described to him two weeks prior. If one superhero died, even from natural causes, then how far was the balance of power thrown? If Tony had died going through that portal like he'd expected to, then would his sacrifice have doomed the world he was trying to protect? But then again, Harry thought, Death had taken a personal interest in Tony, not like the interest she took in Harry, her master, but a significant one nonetheless. That Death had been frustrated with Tony in the first place was indicative of a closer relationship between the entity and mortal than Harry could actually decipher. It was clear, however, that Tony Stark, was no stranger to almost dying and that, for whatever reason, Death had not allowed for the mortal to pass over the line that constituted as the very end of life. Was it like this for the rest of the superheroes? The Avengers that Tony had told him about? And why was Death even included in maintaining the balance anyway? Wasn't that the responsibility of some other entity? Harry ran a hand through his hair, uncaring that the action had probably made the locks even more unruly than usual, and turned back towards Death who seemed to be watching her master closely in trepidation.

"I don't know enough." Harry said. "Can you tell me anything else about this Thanos? And if I am here, doesn't that risk Thanos defeating me and gaining possession of the Hallows?" But Death shook her head.

"Master, I have risked much by telling you what I have and bringing you across the brink with Tony Stark. I shall not be able to interfere anymore." Harry nodded, having expected her to say something like that.

"Well then, let's recap then. My world, or realm, or whatever, subsists upon magic. Its light and darkness creates the balance of power. Correct?" Death nodded. "Then in this world, the superheroes provide the same function, but most of them are still mortal. That's where you come in right? You make them harder to kill, or less likely to die so as to keep the balance between the good and the evil?" Death made no motion at that statement, but Harry shook his head in exasperation. "Right, so you can't tell me that part then? This is all conjecture anyway. What you are essentially saying though, is that Thanos threatens the balance of power and must be eliminated? But wouldn't that create another power vacuum?"

"Thanos' death would result in a minor vacuum yes, but it is believed that the universe can take that small clash. If he were to make it to Earth and destroy it, however, all of the super humans and beings that seek to protect that world risk extinction. The difference between the souls of one powerful man who controls evil and the souls of several powerful beings that are peaceful is of almost no consequence." Harry shook his head roughly and walked a bit away from Death. Her eyes followed him, still cycling in an unhurried manner between blue and red.

"But I am now in this universe. What does that mean, that I am the being that would tip the scales in favor of the superheroes, or that I've just given them a chance?" Death remained stoic.

"Nothing has been predicted. The future is uncertain for the world of mortals."

"I hate this "fate" crap. I always have and I always will." Harry turned back towards Death. "Fine. I'll solve your woes in couples-ville," Death's left eye gave a particularly violent twitch, "But I reserve the right to tell the mortals of what they will be facing should it become necessary. That includes your part in it." If Death were a lesser being, she would have shrugged like a disgruntled teenager. As it was, she'd had a little less than eternity so far to practice controlling her emotions. She briefly noted that it hadn't been so hard before Harry Potter became Master of Death.

"I have nothing to hide Master, nor do the opinions of mortals hold weight in my conscious."

"Okay, first, do you even have a conscious? I'm honestly curious. And second, don't make this what it isn't. The fate of the realm might be in danger, but you're still just pissed at Thanos because he keeps killing things and giving you more work to do. Plus, he's fashioned himself your boyfriend and we all know alien creatures who may or may not have the power to destroy entire planets _always_ have cooties." Harry smirked as Death visibly tried to control herself from jumping at her master. He couldn't help but feel that female Death was a whole lot more fun than the male Death of his realm, even if they were technically the same person/thing. "Now . . ." But Harry didn't have a chance to finish as the world around him began to shift, signaling that his physical body was waking up. With a disgruntled sigh Harry prepared himself and tried to ignore the fact that Death was desperately trying to hold back a smirk as he vanished from the space in between.

Death, left in the silence as the ghostly King's Cross Station began to melt away allowed herself a small chuckle before disappearing herself.

* * *

When Harry came to all he knew was pain. Obviously he really needed to work on his impervious spells some more, but as he slowly took stock of his body he was thankful that he couldn't feel any broken bones and no compromised organs. It was a good thing, even if it meant his entire body was basically one big bruise at this point.

With a grimace Harry focused on the outside world, refusing to open his eyes just yet. Below him was the cold cracked concrete cupped around him which indicated that he'd hit the ground hard enough with his impervious spells to create a crater in the street. Around him he could hear the shouts of what seemed to be civilians and the ominous sound of a building collapsing in the distance. 'So', Harry thought, 'war torn New York'. Tony had literally nuked the enemies, so he wasn't so concerned about being stabbed by an alien creature, but if there were collapsing buildings about then it was in his best interest to scrape himself off the pavement and go see if Tony had survived the big troll creature.

With a groan Harry set about doing just that, finally opening his eyes to the destruction that was New York City, but it was harder than he'd initially thought to pry himself out of the literal hole he'd dug. Tony's monstrous tower loomed over him, smoking, but intact. Freeing a hand he unconsciously slapped it against the pavement, attempting to gain some leverage. Another groan escaped his lips, this one more violent than the first as his arm trembled with the effort. Finally, painfully, Harry managed to move himself into a sitting position, but could go no further. Deciding to merely stay put until some of the pain lessened Harry sighed.

"Harry!" he could suddenly hear Tony's voice amidst the faint ringing in his head.

"Harry!" his head throbbed as Tony's voice grew closer. Dimly he became aware of the sound of footsteps traveling quickly in his direction.

"Harry!" and then his whole body twitched, which seemed to be his default reaction to Tony's general presence.

"Tony Stark, seriously, do you ever fucking shut up?" Harry groaned as he saw Tony slide himself down into the crater, which he now realized was larger than he initially thought. The genius' face held a worried expression, but it was clear from his only slightly ruffled clothing that the troll hadn't done him any damage. Tony sighed heavily as he kneeled next to Harry, cautiously hovering a hand over one of the wizard's arms as if touching him might finish the job of breaking bones that the concrete hadn't.

"Nope. Stark trait. Holy fuck man, how are you alive?" Harry just paused a moment to stare at the man. "Ah, right, can't die, but Jesus! You sure hit the ground hard. How are your organs not like scrambled all over the pavement?" With a grunt Harry finally lifted himself out of the pavement with not a little help from Tony.

"Emergency impervious spells."

"That's . . . really impressive. Any chance I could get some of those for my suit when I get it up and running?" Harry just sighed nodding his head ruefully. Already he was becoming accustomed to Tony's personality. He wondered if it was a matter of being a wizard who'd dealt with strange things his entire life or the fact that he was immortal that made it easier.

The sound of more approaching footsteps caught their attention before Harry could answer and the wizard looked up to see a group of people standing at the edge of the crater. They could only be Tony's superhero team. One man was dressed as an almost literal American flag, a woman and a man stood to the right side dressed in sleek body suits. To the left was a massive blonde holding a hammer dressed almost like Godric Gryffindor would have save the fact he was carrying what seemed to be a hammer rather than a sword. And then Harry paused as he saw a man cautiously making his way down into the crater. He was small, but definitely taller than Harry, because, well, almost everyone was taller than Harry. But what was unusual about the man wasn't his stature, but that he was mostly naked, holding the scraps of some severely damaged pants with one hand while the other was helping him with balance as he made his way towards Tony and Harry.

"Ah, Tony. There's a naked man walking toward us." Tony startled, focusing his attention upon the others, his eyes darting towards the man.

"That's just Bruce. He's cool. He's my science bro." Harry raised an eyebrow.

"And you just let your "science bro" run around New York City during an alien invasion without decent pants. What kind of man are you?"

Tony looked alarmed for a second. "Of course not! I am the epitome of style. Bruce just happens to have a crazy anger management problem and very bad luck when it comes to pants."

"Bad luck with pants? What? Did that troll hit you in the head? What happened to it anyway?"

"It wasn't a troll. My God, do you really have trolls in your universe?" Tony paused to greet the aforementioned Bruce as he finally made it to the duo. "What, do they like hide under bridges and eat unsuspecting couples who are making out in the moonlight?" Harry gave Tony a strange look.

"What? What are you talking about? Hiding under bridges?"

"Uh guys." Bruce raised a hand attempting to stop them from talking, his eyes darting back and forth sort of nervously. Harry got the impression that he would be wringing his hands if one of them weren't still holding onto the pair of pants.

"Seriously man? Trolls? Did you have vampires too? Or werewolves? Honest question: do vampires sparkle? Because I always thought that would be a bit ridiculous. Oh and do werewolves imprint upon their mates while they are still in utero, because that one seriously freaked me out?"

"Tony, I know that I've been with you all day, but are you drunk? Why would a vampire sparkle? And werewolves can be perfectly civil. I had a close friend who was a werewolf. His son was my godson. He definitely didn't imprint on Nymphadora while she was still in the womb."

"Who the hell names their kid Nymphadora? That's, like, literal child abuse." Bruce shifted again as the rest of the team came to stand around him all staring incredulously at the pair.

"It was a Wizarding traditional name thank you very much. We called her Tonks though if it makes you feel any better."

"That does not make me feel better. Tonks? Really? How many "Honky" jokes did she have to suffer I wonder."

"Guys. . ." Bruce tried again. It seemed the red haired woman beside him was getting frustrated with the scenario.

"Tony . . ." Harry brought his hand to rest on his forehead in exasperation. "Just, stop. Help me out of this hole."

Tony complied, but as the group made their way out of the crater he couldn't help but have the last word. "You know, if you had just been a bit faster up there, you wouldn't have created this mildly impressive crater." Harry just grunted looking back, refusing to give Tony the satisfaction of saying the crater was _massively_ impressive not _mildly_.

"Are you guys going to explain what is going on here?" Bruce finally broke in. His skin was looking a bit green and for some reason that Harry couldn't fathom, that made Tony and the others in the group look a little nervous.

"Last I saw Stark was taking a suicide trip strapped to the side of a nuke into space" grunted the blonde man who had a bow strapped to his back. The red haired woman just gave the two an eerie stare that Harry felt was distinctly familiar. Then he froze.

"Woah woah." Harry walked quickly towards the woman ignoring Tony's frantic hisses that it was a majorly bad idea to do so. But Harry had never really gotten the memo that bad ideas were bad so he just continued towards the woman even when she began to draw a handgun out of her utility belt. "Lily!?" Harry's voice rang out making the woman freeze, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

"It's Natasha actually." Tony's voice was a bit dubious behind him but Harry ignored him looking at the woman more closely.

"Huh. Well, no you aren't her, but you look a lot like her. How strange." Natasha shifted slightly her hand not moving an inch from where it rested on her gun.

"And who do I look like?" The woman asked briskly.

Harry smiled a bit, his eyes gaining a bit of a sparkle, glowing almost inhumanly bright. "My daughter Lily. You look almost the same. You could've been her twin."

The man holding the bow frowned, "You don't look old enough to have kids." Harry shifted his attention.

"Oh I'm much older than I look. Though I guess if it's 2012 in this universe then I've just been downgraded to the age of 32. Huh, I wonder if that mean I'll have another excuse to go through a mid-life crisis again?" Harry turned slightly from the group with a hand on his chin. "Though Ginny was really upset then. Hmm."

"Who exactly are you?" The American flag guy asked.

Harry snapped towards the voice with an easy smile. He reached out a hand to shake the man's hand. "Harry James Potter. Wizard, Master of Death, personal savior of one Anthony Stark who owes me big time. And might I know your names?"

The man with the flag shrugged little and looked at Tony for a moment. The billionaire almost imperceptibly nodded his head. It was obviously enough for the Captain that Tony Stark who trusted nobody was willing to trust this man.

"I am Steve Rogers." He pointed at each member of the team finally giving Harry a name to go with each face. Harry seemed to nod along pleasantly at the introductions, though he gave Natasha a particularly long look that the woman was obviously not comfortable with. When Rogers finished the wizard promptly turned towards Thor.

"So Thor. Clinical question here. Would you be willing to answer it?"

"I will attempt to provide what knowledge you seek young sorcerer." Thor's eyes shifted a bit before returning to Harry.

"Woah now, nice Shakespeare thing you have going on there. You are like the actual Thor right? Norse God, son of Odin, controls Thunder and lightning right?" Thor nodded.

Harry smirked. It seemed a bit vicious upon his face and he barely heard Tony's groan behind him when the genius realized what he was about to ask. "Tony explained to me before we left my universe that the device in his chest was based off the notes his father left on a Norse cube called the Tessarect." The Avengers stiffened at the mention of the cube, weary that he might be another villain like Loki seeking its power. "I would like to know, in very basic definitions, what the primary function of the cube is."

Thor hesitated, but he answered anyway, "I do not completely understand it, but father says it is a portable, powerful energy source." Harry's smirked and turned quickly in Tony's direction ignoring the collective flinch from the rest of the team. Tony looked sort of constipated as he gazed at Harry. "Dear Tony, I believe the definition of a battery is quite literally "portable energy source" isn't it?"

"Oh no. It means nothing. Just because one Norse God plays into your favor doesn't mean you get to belittle the technological marvel of my arc reactor!"

"Norse battery."

" _Arc_ _reactor_!" Tony said through clinched teeth. Harry smiled.

"Norse battery."

Tony sighed. "You live to annoy me don't you?"

"Well, among other things, yes."

There was a snort from the team behind him. "I'm starting to like this guy." Steve mumbled.

"Seconded." Natasha smirked.

"Harry." Harry jerked his head to the side at the voice and grinned as he saw Luna floating there next to Bruce who seemed to be so shocked he was having a hard time holding up his tattered pants.

"Luna dear! You made it. How was the trip? Are the descendants settling in nicely into Potter manor?"

"Oh yes, the trip was quite pleasant, though currently your relatives are attempting to re-enchant the stone above the library in the East wing. It seems like there was a massive hole there for some reason." Luna's voice was light and her hair seemed to be ruffled by a slight breeze, though Harry still didn't know how that was possible.

"Oh yeah, I knew I'd forgotten something." Harry dismissed.

"But Harry, we have a problem." Harry's gaze sharpened on the ghost, but Luna's face was as serene as always.

"And what's that?" Luna gestured towards the still shocked Bruce.

"This poor man has the most serious case of Wrackspurts I've _ever_ _seen_!"

There was silence for a moment and then Harry grinned, though he knew Luna wouldn't appreciate it.

"Never change Luna dear." Luna scoffed already taking off the ghostly butterbeer cork necklace and laying it around Bruce's neck. Harry mused at the action and began to seriously think about whether or not he should ask Luna if she was a regular ghost or not. Seriously, how did she do these things? Ghosts were not supposed to be able to remove their jewelry and place it on other people.

"What a silly thing to say Harry. Ghosts don't change."

And as it was the scene that played out in the middle of a battle damaged New York was one of the strangest in living history. Even the Avengers who'd become accustomed to the oddities of aliens, Gods, and mind control weapons stood in silent confusion. Tony Stark merely sighed and put a palm to his forehead wishing desperately for an alcoholic beverage. But first, he knew they all had a meeting with a pirate to attend, not to mention a date to collect a Hulk smashed God of Trickery. But after . . . well after that, "Hey," Tony spoke up "have any of you ever had swaharma? I really want to try some swaharma. There's this place about two blocks down and I think we should go get some. It could be team bonding exercise."

They all glanced in his direction, but nobody had anything to say,

Go figure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's chapter three! Not sure if I'm entirely happy with this one, but there you go. I'd like to once again thank everyone for the overwhelming response to this story. It's nothing short of amazing every time I see the favorites, follows, and positive reviews. As a matter of concern I would like to reinforce that this is a Gen fic meaning that there will be no SLASH. To be honest, I prefer writing SLASH, but I want to keep this as completely plot driven and character oriented as possible. You all seem very concerned as to who is shacking up with who so I'm here to say that only canon pairings will be included, but even those relationships won't be focused on.
> 
> On another note, I'm happy to report that I did not change Harry's gender. I don't really get how everybody is so concerned about that one, but you can all rest happy now.
> 
> Also, just curious, to those of you who write your own fics. Have you noticed some of the text from your chapters disappearing randomly during the initial editing process on the actual site? Some of the typos that have been appearing are not showing up as typos in my original Word file so I was just wondering if maybe I'm going crazy or not.
> 
> Thanks again for all of the reviews and I hope to hear from you guys soon. Until next time!


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